1. I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days. Nothing specific, really. Just questioning everything I’ve been doing—the things I produce at work, the things I do when I’m out of the office, and the things I want to do that would matter to others, not only to myself. 

    I’ve been having fits of this metaphysical unease that I can’t seem to shake out of my system. This weekend was probably one of the most unproductive I’ve had so far because I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Work, both for freelance and for my full-time job, has been piling up and I feel like I lost my sense of urgency of all the impending deadlines. 

    I feel kind of lost and not lost at the same time—like I have an idea where I want to go, but I get confused sometimes and I feel like I’m not getting closer to where I’m supposed to go. I’ve tried talking this out with one of my closest friends, and I just couldn’t explain it in a way she would understand. Maybe talking about it, or at least writing it down, would put some sense into things.

    I’ve been second-guessing and re-evaluating all the little details of every single thing I’ve been doing, thinking if I’ve made the right ones, constantly itching to do something in my life that would eventually add up to something relevant in the future. These past few days, I’ve been revisiting things I’ve started doing over the past couple of months—making bracelets, learning how to draw, taking photos again—including this digging up and posting something here on my tiny space on the internet. Lauren Hom wrote this post that I keep on rereading whenever this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach decides to pay a visit. I guess I just feel like I wanted to start something of my own, like a personal project of some sort, but I couldn’t seem to find the right mix of the things I love to do, combine them into one, and call it my own.

    Sometimes I feel like I have this habit of starting things up that I can’t commit myself to—from handmade wallets, to boho accessories, personal projects that I lose interest in because I feel like it won’t matter to anyone. 

    I realize as I write this now, that this is probably why I am in a stump right now—because I have to set my goals, and make a decision as to which among my interests I am going to pursue. I know I love design and things related to the arts, but it’s just too wide of a category that I still have to pick one I am going to cultivate and stick to in the long run. Anyone who knows me personally would know that I am the worst person to ask when it comes to making decisions. It just kind of sucks that this particular decision, I have to make on my own.

    Deep, deep down I’m secretly wishing that this is all just PMS (HAHA), but I know this kind of thing doesn’t just pass, and I would probably just waste time I could use to get closer to my goals. And I can’t just settle for something that I know I’d eventually re-evaluate and second-guess in the future. Hopefully I’d arrive at some clarity in the next few days. 

    Tagged #iphone #vscocam
     

  2. I took these photos about two weeks ago when we visited Toby’s Estate at Century City Mall in Makati. I’m still amazed with the subway vibe and the specially handcrafted coffee.

    Hmmm, I should’ve bought a box of Buckies n Cream! 

     

  3. There’s something about taking photos of moments without applying filters or adding frills to them at all, and physically holding it in your hands.

    Our office boss bichesa (who happens to be my closest friend in the office HAHA) initiated to take these photos yesterday as a way of saying an early farewell to the office that has been our home for almost a year now—at least for me.

    I never really imagined staying this long in a startup company that has offered me a job around this time a year ago, before I even graduated college. I was the seventh member of our small team back then, which has now grown about twice as large over the span of a couple of rough, drama-filled months. 

    Despite everything we’ve been through, I’m probably one of the few people who can honestly say that I can’t imagine myself working anywhere else with this much freedom, opportunities and sense of fulfillment.

    Most days I avoid thinking about the future because I’m scared of what it holds—the vastness of the possibilities and the uncertainty of it all. It’s pretty much the same feeling I had before I accepted this job around this time last year. I know I don’t have my life figured out yet, but this time around, I’m feeling kind of hopeful for the future. :)

     

  4. The view from the window of the And A Half HQ. It felt so nostalgic going back to that office and spending the day with them after about a year and a half! Can’t wait to go back there next week! :)

     

  5. I’m not exactly sure how I can eat healthy with all these chocolates and cookies around the house. O_O

     

  6. Missing mornings like this! It’s been a while since I asked my dad to drive me to school—or work for that matter.

    Kind of feeling unusually hopeful for a Monday. Hoping things would work out well this week. :)

     

  7. My mom bought me these new set of nibs for calligraphy practice today for quite a bargain! They all look so fancy and intricate. Can’t wait to try them all out soon! :)

     

  8. This is how most of our Sunday lunch meals look like whenever we pay Greenhills a visit: Rice in a Box + Master Siomai + Crablets from Potdog! I honestly don’t know how we finish this all up every single time, but we do. HAHA!

     

  9. I probably took this about a week ago while watching Pretty Little Liars’ Shadow Play episode. Missing this kind of weekend watching one of my favorite TV series with a cup of milk and a bowl of Mini Cinnamon Churros cereal.

     

  10. Wrote this about a week ago while I was reading Lola and the Boy Next Door. I really need to practice my uppercase letter writing more. Haha!

    I’ve finished reading the book already and I realized how much I liked it more than Anna and the French Kiss. I shall write more quotes from the book for calligraphy practice. Can’t wait for the Isla and the Happily Ever After to come out this year!